These Advice given by A Parent That Saved Me during my time as a New Dad

"In my view I was merely trying to survive for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

Yet the truth quickly turned out to be "completely different" to what he'd imagined.

Serious health problems surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver in addition to looking after their infant son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, every nappy change… each outing. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

Following nearly a year he burnt out. It was a talk with his father, on a public seat, that helped him see he couldn't do it alone.

The direct phrases "You aren't in a good spot. You require support. How can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, look for assistance and find a way back.

His experience is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. While the public is now more comfortable discussing the pressure on mothers and about PND, not enough is spoken about the struggles dads face.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan feels his struggles are linked to a larger reluctance to open up among men, who continue to absorb negative notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the harbour wall that just gets smashed and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It is not a display of weakness to ask for help. I failed to do that quick enough," he clarifies.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, says men often don't want to admit they're having a hard time.

They can feel they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental health is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the opportunity to ask for a pause - taking a short trip away, away from the family home, to gain perspective.

He came to see he needed to make a change to consider his and his partner's emotions as well as the practical tasks of taking care of a infant.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she longed for" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will help his son better understand the language of emotional life and understand his parenting choices.

The idea of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen was without consistent male guidance. Despite having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, deep-held difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions resulted in him make "bad decisions" when in his youth to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the pain.

"You find your way to things that are harmful," he explains. "They can short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Advice for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - if you feel overwhelmed, confide in a friend, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the pursuits that helped you to feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. It could be going for a run, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Look after the physical health - a good diet, getting some exercise and if you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - listening to their experiences, the difficult parts, as well as the good ones, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Understand that seeking help does not mean you've failed - looking after yourself is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead offer the security and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the feelings in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become better, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their pain, altered how they communicate, and figured out how to regulate themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and dealing with things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I said, on occasion I believe my job is to instruct and tell you on life, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning just as much as you are in this journey."